When my daughter, Chloe, was still a young toddler, we had a hard time getting her to eat. As the first child, she clearly had a lot of leverage on us. We were always stressed out about everything: she is eating too little, not sleeping enough, sleeping too much, not drinking enough milk, not drinking enough water. Does that sound familiar?
We did everything by the book. Introducing foods one at the time, waiting 3 - 5 days in between to observe for allergic reactions. In the meantime, we were choosing foods that were low in sugar, high in nutritional content, with just the right amount of fats and carbs. With such a carefully planned menu, we completely forgot to introduce spices and flavor to her! No wonder she complained about almost all the table food. This is clearly our fault! When the younger one, Freya, came along, we are so busy trying to get Chloe to eat, no one had time to plan Freya's menu. She eats everything.
A coworker once mentioned a book written by professor Karen Le Billon that has all the scientific research behind taste development. The book is called "Getting to Yum". While I bought the wrong book (also written by her), I got the idea that "eating well" can happen with training. Research has discovered that toddlers can be made to like a new food by introducing it 5-10 times. Kids aged 3-4 may need to try it 15 times before developing a taste for it. But the flavor window may never completely shut.
Establishing healthy eating habits for Chloe and getting her to try various different flavors became my highest priority. On a quest to expand her flavor profile, I started cooking different cuisines for her. It is of course a struggle at best, and a disaster most of the time. To show her displease to my cooking, Chloe would completely skip the lunch that I packed for her, and solely live on the daycare provided snacks. Out of ideas on getting her to eat, my husband and I tried to scare her into eating. We told her if she doesn't eat, she will get sick and we will have to take her to see the doctor and get shots. We were counting on her getting vaccination shots during her 3-year well check. Of course, we later learned that 3-year well check does not have any vaccinations. The doctors and nurses were so nice and offered her toys. The next day, Chloe came home and said "I didn't eat lunch. I want to go see doctor". That plan completely backfired on us!
What worked for us is a whole homemade program. First, Chloe understood that she must finish everything on her plate before getting up from the table. After all the talking, screaming, and threatening; she understand this rule very well. However, we can only enforce this at home. We had to temporarily opt her out of the school's snack program, so that she can start eating lunch. We also worked closely with her teachers to know what and how much she ate in school. When she doesn't finish her food, we always talk to her about it. We introduce new flavors together with the flavors she is familiar with. This seemed incredibly easy after all the talking, screaming, and threatening. With most things she likes and a few things she normally wouldn't eat on her plate, she seemed to be less resistant about finishing everything.
While not eating some of the food willingly, Chloe understands that we want her to eat everything on her plate. The plate, of course, must have a reasonable amount of food for her to finish. She loved going grocery shopping with us. During these trips, we would point out different vegetables and spices to her, and tell her about the benefits of eating. Overtime, she started eating more different flavors, and family meal time became so much more pleasant! While she still complains about spicy things once in awhile, she has made tremendous improvements over the past couple of years.
For the parents with picky eaters at home, I think there is hope.
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